But let me tell ya it’s better than diggin’ a ditch
A movie star or maybe even an Indian chief
Workin’ at the car wash, girl
(Car wash)
Sing it with the feelin’ y’all
(Car wash, girl)
I was 8 months pregnant in 1979 with my first child. My brother Danny and I, with the help of a friend, rented an apartment in Wixom Michigan together. Neither of us had a thing. Danny slept on the floor so the hugely pregnant girl could have the mattress. It was tough, but we weren’t living in a shelter in Detroit or Pontiac. No cock roaches, and really, it was a safe, warm, two bedroom apartment with a stove and a fridge. We were blissfully ignorant and grateful.
One thing Danny did have was a 1963 Dodge Dart, and mind you, this was 1979. It had three on the tree. (the shifter was on the steering column) You may be to young to know this so I’ll explain; Cars used to be really heavy. The steel they used on the body of the vehicles of that age was really thick. The biggest problem with this car was the headlights did not work.
Danny had found a job at Soltis Plastics on M-59 and had to start work at 6am. The problem with that is in Michigan it gets dark at about 5pm in February and stays that way till after 6am the next morning. How do you find your way to work in the dark with no headlights? How do you get home if you have to work overtime?
Strangely the person he was buying the car from in payments had also lent me the money to get the apartment. He had the mechanic skills to build a whole car. He could have easily fixed the headlights and added it to our bill because we had NO money. It isn’t always the big things that hold you up. Sometimes it’s figuring out how to navigate the small details.
So on a particular morning I needed to have the car to go to my appointment with the obstetrician. I would drive Dan to work this day and pick him up afterword. From Pontiac Trail in Wixom to M-59 in White Lake where Danny worked is a twisty-turny bunch of roads that wrap around lakes. I had just moved to Oakland County from Wayne County where all of the roads are straight and predictable and cross at right angles. This was difficult.
I remember trying to see in the dark on slippery roads I didn’t recognize in a very heavy car with bald tires and bad brakes and no headlights. All the while my brother was going on about how Bob Seger lived around here somewhere as the Alpine Valley Ski hill came into view as we drove up Bogie Lake Rd almost to M-59.
Danny was many strange things, but he was not messy or dirty. He was compulsively clean and on this morning he decided he needed to go to the car wash. Maybe it was because his pregnant sister should have a clean car to drive. After all, it was the only thing he owned besides the clothes on his back which were also clean. There happened to be a do-it-yourself car wash near Soltis Plastics and we had a few minutes so we pulled into the car wash.
I got out of the car and stood at the edge of the car wash bay and watched as Dan put his quarter in the machine holding the handle of the sprayer hose. As most of us know, the hose is held at the ceiling on a metal arm that rotates 360 degrees so you can walk easily around your car and wash it.
On this day for some reason, this spray nozzle decided to act on it’s own. The sprayer nozzle hissed on with a jerk, and flew out of his hand. I can still hear him swearing as he tried to get a hold of the handle, water spraying in every direction.
As Danny chased the spray nozzle it whipped around the car clanging and banging loudly on the heavy metal like is was the Liberty bell. It suddenly decided to change direction and headed for Danny who in his best judgement decided to run away from it. It was beating the poor Dart and Dan all to shit and could have easily given my poor brother a concussion.
I stood there laughing so hard I thought I might have a baby and/or piss myself right there in the car wash. Dan still cussing and yelling “oh! ouch! God Dammit! arms flailing while the nozzle decided to head in the other direction and Danny followed suit and ran away from it. Why he didn’t just step back and let it run out I will never know. All of this continued through the whole first 25¢. It could have only happened to Dan Wettig.
I smile whenever I think it. It makes my eyes water. It was a classic comedy skit. Danny was unwittingly funny and in this case unwillingly so. It felt so good to laugh…
RIP Danny
August 22, 1960 – August 10, 2007
The Rooms In My House 
Damn, I love this memory of yours. Your writing took me there and, actually, made my eyes wet.
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EXCELLENT. It really is the little things.
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